No, the question here is do I know you. You calling yourself Peter Parker? You don't look a damn thing like him! You're too tall. Too...everything. I don't know, I don't look at the kid all that often. Kind of pathetic, to be honest.

Now listen: either you're lying or he is, and I don't care which! All I want are the pictures of Spider-man promised to me by one Peter Parker, on my desk, so we can go to print!

What d'yah think of this: "Masked Menace, Nightmare of New York"? I love alliteration. Makes it all sing!