Peter Parker | Spider-Man (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
myresponsibility) wrote2014-08-12 09:19 pm
myresponsibility) wrote2014-08-12 09:19 pm
041 | SPAM
[Open Spam]
[Peter's actually been back for about a day.
He remembers where he is. He does. The infirmary's on the second floor, the library's on the fifth, his neighbor's a redheaded woman named Jean who can hear people's thoughts and move things with her mind. So he knows. Everything just feels like... fog. Walking through fog.
Which is how it's felt for months now, honestly. He's not sure what took the Admiral so long - he hadn't really remembered the Barge when he'd been home, but he'd talked to him right after Captain Stacy died, and he'd been alone and desperate and numb when he'd held Gwen's body - but he'd asked, and Peter had said yes, yeah obviously, please, and so he's here.
Except he wants to be here just as much as he wants to be anywhere, which is to say he doesn't want to be here at all.
Everyone's in port when he gets back, and he's grateful for the space the not-quite Endor provides. He just walks, walks, walks, because he hasn't been Spider-Man since that day, and he doesn't think he wants to be anymore. One of the natives sneaks up on him, and apparently, even off brand Ewoks can sense when someone's walking around with a hole in their chest. The hug he receives is bizarrely one of the most comforting things he's experienced since the funeral.
A hug isn't going to fix everything, though, so Peter's back to feeling sullen and empty and numb when port's over. He goes through the motions: stopping by the maintenance office, staring at the pen formation in the ceiling he'd made a lifetime ago last time he was here, eating mechanically in the dining hall, staring over the rail on deck watching the stars with a thousand yard stare that shows he's not really all here. He looks older - not much, but older - and tired and worn, and his reactions are dulled, but it could be worse. At least he remembers.
So Peter's back, but he's not really the same, and it shows. Something's broken. He's not sure it's ever going to be fixed, even if he gets his deal.
It gets worse when he realizes Gwen's room isn't here anymore.]
[ooc: multiples, fuzzy time, old and new cr all welcome. c:]
[Peter's actually been back for about a day.
He remembers where he is. He does. The infirmary's on the second floor, the library's on the fifth, his neighbor's a redheaded woman named Jean who can hear people's thoughts and move things with her mind. So he knows. Everything just feels like... fog. Walking through fog.
Which is how it's felt for months now, honestly. He's not sure what took the Admiral so long - he hadn't really remembered the Barge when he'd been home, but he'd talked to him right after Captain Stacy died, and he'd been alone and desperate and numb when he'd held Gwen's body - but he'd asked, and Peter had said yes, yeah obviously, please, and so he's here.
Except he wants to be here just as much as he wants to be anywhere, which is to say he doesn't want to be here at all.
Everyone's in port when he gets back, and he's grateful for the space the not-quite Endor provides. He just walks, walks, walks, because he hasn't been Spider-Man since that day, and he doesn't think he wants to be anymore. One of the natives sneaks up on him, and apparently, even off brand Ewoks can sense when someone's walking around with a hole in their chest. The hug he receives is bizarrely one of the most comforting things he's experienced since the funeral.
A hug isn't going to fix everything, though, so Peter's back to feeling sullen and empty and numb when port's over. He goes through the motions: stopping by the maintenance office, staring at the pen formation in the ceiling he'd made a lifetime ago last time he was here, eating mechanically in the dining hall, staring over the rail on deck watching the stars with a thousand yard stare that shows he's not really all here. He looks older - not much, but older - and tired and worn, and his reactions are dulled, but it could be worse. At least he remembers.
So Peter's back, but he's not really the same, and it shows. Something's broken. He's not sure it's ever going to be fixed, even if he gets his deal.
It gets worse when he realizes Gwen's room isn't here anymore.]
[ooc: multiples, fuzzy time, old and new cr all welcome. c:]
no subject
It's not that people haven't tried to be there for him at home. They have. Even Captain Stacy not actually murdering him or dragging him to prison after what happened is something like support, but it's just not the same as this. Scott's been here, and he knows - or will, once Peter's able to put his mouth around the words - what happened, and it's such a relief even if it's something he wishes was different.]
Harry went nuts, [He finally chokes out around another gasp for air.] He threw her, and I tried, I tried, but it wasn't-
[He has to stop, and just hangs on to Scott with the desperation of a drowning victim, and tries to stop crying.]