020 | VOICE

[myresponsibility]

[So. So. That was a thing, and it doesn't take a genius to or a telepath to realize how bad people are going to take what happened. Hell, he's having a hard time reconciling some of it, and he hadn't even been involved in anything too bad, so while he's usually someone who holes up and doesn't bother people with his problems, or ask them about theirs, this time, he's stepping up. Having a responsibility to people goes beyond just preventing muggings, or saving people from burning buildings, and he's starting to realize and accept that. Slowly.

It might be a total disaster, but people he cares about will be hurt and hurting, and this is so not as easy as just punching someone in the face when it comes to solving problems, but dammit, he is going to try.]

[Private to Alex]

So, I totally get if you're not up for this, but. You told me you'd rather talk than have me trying to deal on my own, so. That goes both ways.

[And Peter wants it to be 120% clear that he is totally here and available to be a sounding board, or a sparring partner, or just someone to hang out with. He'd maybe even let Alex cry on him if he needed to, after something like this.

... Well okay, his preference is no crying, but. If you had to, he'd deal with it.]

[Private to Anya]

Hey, I don't- [Know what to say, is probably what he should be going for here, because he sort of lost track of her by the end of it, but.] Are you okay?

[Private to Arya]

Sorry for being kind of a jerk. During the... thing. [Although he doubts you will take this personally?]

[Private to Banner]

I got out okay, if you need an extra hand in the infirmary. And stuff.

[How are you doing :|]

[Private to Bond]

[Bond is tough. Peter knows that, and has known it from the second they met, and he knows there's no way he's dealing with his alternate life well like, at all. He totally can't blame him.]

Hey. [... It's hard, to think of what to say next, mostly because he knows that he's going to be pushed away, or not even replied to if he's in the pub trying to literally drown his liver.

(It's the first place he's going to look for him if he doesn't reply, and again, he's willing to be company or physically drag him away from the bar if he has to.)]

The weather's not bad in the CES if, you know. You want to go for a run.

[Private to Chris]

Is it totally lame to ask if you like, need anything?

[Brushing him off with a lame joke or profanity will probably at least reassure him you're not totally traumatized. B(]

[Private to Dean]

[... Actually no, maybe Dean is the toughest person to talk to, because he got a really good look at what his counterpart was like, and how bad things had got at the end, and he doesn't. Really know how much he wants to have that addressed.

But Dean's a good guy, and he's sort of his boss, so. He's going to do his best not to worry about that.]

Hey.

[Private to Polly & Mal]

Hey, so, sorry this took forever, [Stuff kept coming up, so it's been way more than the few days he promised Polly to begin with.] But I think I've got two functional Clacks Towers. If you're still interested.

[Private to Scott]

[Maybe it's the fact that Scott hadn't said anything about being Different - it sounds better to him than saying he and Alex are mutants, or Scott's some kind of monster - or just because he's a newer friend that he's really clicked with who hasn't had to weather this kind of thing before, but Pete feels like Scott's one of the people he's going to really not let retreat in on himself. He's actually tempted to just go down to his room and do this in person, but for now, that's Plan B.]

So, there are five more Star Wars movies - even though three of them are complete crap - and I still know like, basically nothing about lacrosse. If you're more in the mood for that.

[Private to Snow]

You know I suck at this, but. You need anything, and I will totally drop whatever to help.

[He means it. :| Do you want tea. :| He can make you tea. :|]

Comments

[Private]

[lastrat]

[It's absolutely the place to look for him, and Bond is not going to leave easily.

He knows what Peter's doing, even recognizes it might be the better option, but he doesn't care. He doesn't want to do more than what he's doing right now: nursing a very dry martini, toying with the orange peel curled over its side.]

Not much for running right now.

[Private]

[myresponsibility]

Okay. [He doesn't sound disappointed, or hurt exactly. It's not like he expected a different answer.

But.]

Can I do anything?

[Private]

[lastrat]

I'm good.

[Lie. He's already on his fourth drink.

Worst of all, he doesn't ask how Peter's doing. Better than he is, is the obvious answer. Bond's content to leave it at that.]

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[THE MOST accurate assumption.]

It wasn't you, and it wasn't me. You don't have to apologize.

[Private]

[myresponsibility]

Well, it still sucked, so I'm apologizing.

Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

For something that wasn't your fault.

filter;

[pvtparts]

I'd be happy to have a look at them.

filter;

[myresponsibility]

Cool. Where do you want me to drop them off?

filter;

[pvtparts]

Bring them by my cabin.

[breathoflight]

I appreciate the offer, Peter. But I do not believe I need much of anything right now.

[At least nothing she thinks can help. :(]

Are you well?

[myresponsibility]

Yeah, I guess. [Things weren't that bad, really. He didn't die, or kill anyone he cared about, so. It could have been worse.]

Are you?

[breathoflight]

As well as can be expected.

[Private]

[semifreakingnormal]

[Peter is, without a doubt, a good dude: and Scott feels very much like the opposite. He knows he should check in with people - he knows he has to deal with fall out. Everyone knows, now, and even if it's not the biggest baddest thing here, he just spent fives days as - as the absolute worst thing he could be. He was practically Peter. He was more a monster than he's ever felt, in every way.

And people will remember that about him for a long time, maybe forever. How does he just ask them to forgive that? He was planning on killing so many of them.

So when Peter's message comes, he's tempted to ignore it. Just bury his head and do whatever he can to forget....everything.

But Peter's already forgiving him, or it feels like he is, and it makes it a little easier for Scott to respond.]

I don't think I'm up for lacrosse.

[It's a violent sport. It always brings the change around. He's afraid.]

[Private]

[myresponsibility]

Okay. [He gets that, and as much as his instinct is just to back off and leave it at that, he's wrestling it down and trying again. Trying, because he doesn't want to let people down, or for them to feel as shitty about all this as he did after any number of the bad things that have happened to him.]

... Look, I could tell you like, fifty times that that wasn't you, and it's not your fault and it's stupid for beating yourself up about it? But that's not gonna stop you from doing it. I mean, I've been there, and it sucks, and you're probably not really gonna believe anyone who tells you they're not pissed or don't think you're the worst person in the world. But, it does get easier? Especially with stuff like this, because that wasn't you, otherwise you wouldn't be here.

And, like, I don't know what it's like where you're from, but it's like... okay that people know you're not just human. I mean, I'm like, a half spider/half human mutant... thing, and Alex can blow stuff up, and I'm pretty sure Arya can talk to animals or something, so it's not like we're gonna judge you.

[Private]

[semifreakingnormal]

I know. I mean, I guess I know, it's just - look, that was what I'm scared out of my mind of being. I barely know anything about what I am, and it freaks me out so much, man. I didn't ask for this!

I just want it to go away.

[private]

[fridgetothefire]

I'm okayish.

[She did such awful things. But her cabin is still a warden's.]

You?

[private]

[myresponsibility]

I mean, I've been through worse stuff. [Silent fucking Hill, thank you very much Admiral.]

Can I do anything?

[ Private : Voice ]

[surfaceshine]

[Unfortunately, Dean doesn't seem interested in making it any easier. He's been so easygoing, so aggressively friendly lately, that it's easy to blame the Mirror Barge for the change.

His voice is rough when he eventually replies, like he just woke up from a month worth of sleep, or swallowed a gallon of gravel.]

Yeah?

[ Private : Voice ]

[myresponsibility]

Can I get you anything? Or like, pick up a shift or something?

... Sorry, I just. Want to help. [He wants to feel helpful, to keep busy by doing things for other people because he wasn't that badly hurt by what happened, and he just... needs to feel like he's doing something.]

private

[tolaywaste]

[This comes after some delay. Like. A day of delay. He's hiding in Nathan's room because the infirmary terrifies him, and because people looking at him is also completely terrifying right now, because his shoulders are in screaming pain.]

[His voice is hoarse and barely audible. But he's trying.]

Don't know what to say.

. . . Not. Being a dick. Just don't know.

private

[myresponsibility]

[Whoa wait, HOLD UP.]

... Dude, what happened? Where are you?

[Private]

[mistconduct]

I need fuck all right now.

No, I need last week to have not fucking happened, thanks.

[Private]

[myresponsibility]

Join the club.

[PRIVATE]

[lastincident]

I'm glad things were relatively... well.

We can always use the assistance.

[ Not talking about anything that happened, ever, nope. ]

[PRIVATE]

[myresponsibility]

Cool. I'll be there. Should I bring anything?