myresponsibility | 021

[Peter's sitting on the roof of the greenhouses. He hides up here a lot when he's feeling crappy, because it's one of the highest points on the Barge and for the most part, it's a good place to go when your room's feeling a little too claustrophobic and familiar.

Not that anyone listening to the network post will really be able to tell, aside from the fact that he sounds like his jaw's a little locked in an attempt to stop his teeth from chattering. It gets cold out here at night now.]

So, I think there's kind of been some like, miscommunication about how things actually are, for people like me? Like, I get it, some of us are fictional where you're from, and that's cool or whatever- [And pretty creepy, if he's really thinking about it, but he prefers not to think about how people might know about things he'd rather keep secret.] Or we've got stuff that you don't have in your world, like superpowers or magic and stuff, but that doesn't mean our lives are like, an episode of My Little Pony or something.

I don't think any of us would be here if something bad hadn't happened to us, and like, I've never read these comics or anything? But seriously, if anyone thinks being a superhero is easy just because I've got superpowers, or because someone else has monsters or giant robots or whatever to fight, you really, really don't get it. Good people - people you don't know and people you really care about still get hurt. They might even die. [Uncle Ben, Captain Stacy, the billion times Bond's gotten himself hurt or killed on the Barge and he hasn't been able to do anything about it. A lot of good having superpowers did him then.] Maybe in front of you. And you might not be able to stop it.

Or they'll leave, because it's safer.

[Because while Captain Stacy's alive now, he'll still want him to stay away from Gwen. And Bond's gone, and he's been back before, but there's no guarantee that he will this time. It's stupid to be upset about it or miss him, because the Barge sucks, and he's better off at home. Really.]

So just... think. Before you start saying you get it, or how I don't get it because you think having superpowers means my world's "less real" than yours. Because if someone made a movie about my life? I seriously doubt it's something you'd want to trade for.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nothing to be sorry for. He's a good guy to sound like.

What's up?

James died, and then he left. I'm just kind of tired of people acting like because I've got superpowers and a codename that it's like, impossible for my life to kind of suck.

[Dean raises an eyebrow, but blows out a breath without saying anything at first.]

Well. It's the Barge, so there's a couple givens at play here.

For one, the average day is likely to suck.

For two, the mortality rate is through the roof for a population this size.

For three... everyone's gonna leave at some point.

I know all that.

Sometimes we need to hear things even though we know 'em already.

What I mean is that you're not the only one, either. In case you felt that way.

I don't. I just don't think it's fair to tell someone "hey, I read about you once and your life is totally way better than mine". Everyone's got something.

[Dean makes a noncommittal, wordless sound in his throat.]

Yeah, I mean that's a shitstain thing to do regardless.

I hear ya, slick.

Thanks.

You need to talk about your something?

I don't know. I'm not great at like, talking. About this kind of thing.

I'm beginning to think no one is.

But no one who doesn't need to does a monologue to the network at large. So.

My "thing" is kind of different than that. I just felt like this was worth saying, since there are a lot of us who have to deal with this kind of thing.

Dude, my brother would crucify you for redundancy.

[It's fond, though, a low chuckle of amusement rather than serious.]

Well, it's your choice.

I'm pissed that James left again.

Ah.

Fair enough. He didn't say anything?

No. Vesper said he just vanished, and he wouldn't have gone without trying to get her to leave, too.

[But he might leave without saying goodbye to him, if things were really bad. And they had been.]

I'm sorry, Peter.

It's cool. I mean, it's not like he's dead this time, so. It could be worse.

It's not cool. It's okay to be mad.

It's... [God fuck this ongoing problem. Dean stops, breathes until his own throat loosens again, and clears it to continue.] You get to be pissed.

[It's not that it's the first time he's heard that, but God, he appreciates it, because he's so pissed. He's tired of losing people, and this is really not a great place for that kind of thing.]

Thanks. Seriously.

[Dean nods, chewing his lip for a moment. It's the least he can do, honestly. It doesn't feel like enough.]

So. You cold up there yet, ready for a hamburger or something?

I guess I could eat.

[It is pretty cold up here yeah. B(]

[Get off the damn roof, you dork.]

Awesome. Me too. Mind the company? [He's not hungry, but it's not because he's eaten recently. He knows he needs to, and Peter needs someone familiar that gets that fictional people back home are real people here, and that gets the helpless anger at being helpless. Dean can do that. Dean can be that for a while.]

[But it's cool!!!]

Nah. [He might have, before. And if this was a situation where Bond was dead and gone, maybe he would have just resorted to his usual habit of holing up and wrapping the hurt around himself like a blanket or a shield. But it's not, this isn't the worst case scenario, so. Being around someone might help.] Meet you downstairs?

[THAT'S THE PROBLEM IT'S FREAKING NOVEMBER. WE HAVE WEATHER, PETER PARKER.]

Sounds good. Save me a seat.

[Dean is still wrapped up in his own, but he's always known how to carry it with him. It will do him some good too, he thinks. He hopes.]

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myresponsibility - 2013-12-02 05:13 (UTC) - Expand

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